


Always Forever

by ashtonvonaustien



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:33:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27244258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashtonvonaustien/pseuds/ashtonvonaustien
Summary: Just Tsukki and Yamaguchi realizing that their love for each other surpasses what most people would consider platonic. Lots of fluff and sweet things as they work out their feelings for each other and how they could possibly confess after years of friendship(pining). Updates every Tuesday and Friday... hopefully.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

Tsukishima and Yamaguchi took their first steps into the chilling winter air. After a vigorous practice, the sweat that once served as relief from the heat now seemed to freeze against their skin almost instantly. Tsukishima shuddered under his thick canvas coat, sucking in frigid air through his teeth as he did. "It's too fucking cold to be walking home," he winced, as if they had a choice. Yamaguchi looked up at him with a smile. "It's okay, Tsukki, it'll be fun! Look, it's even starting to snow!" he responded, using the nickname that was reserved for only his voice. Tsukki glanced ahead of him, noticing for the first time how quickly his view was being obstructed by a film of white snowflakes that, strangely enough, reminded him of the spray of freckles that coated his friend's cheeks. "Oh," he managed to reply, temporarily stalled by the comparison he had just made, then he added with a bit more of his usual bite, "then let's hurry up and get home before we freeze our asses off."

The walk home was mostly silent, save for a few gasps from Yamaguchi when he caught a snowflake in his bare and quickly reddening palms, but this was normal for them. Tsukki usually had his headphones on after a long day of school, practice, and (though he wouldn't admit it) human interaction. Both boys had quickly learned each others' boundaries, and for the shorter one, that meant allowing Tsukki a couple minutes with his music before he started to engage in conversation. Now Yamaguchi had his hands cupped in front of his mouth, breathing out hot air in an attempt to warm them up, and Tsukki's eyes were pinned on him, looking a bit conflicted. He flushed a little under the gaze, but it may just as well have been because of the cold. "What?" he asked, smiling up at his friend suspiciously as he brought his hands away from his face. Tsukishima's head cocked to the side, but he seemed to make a decision, suddenly reaching out with his gloved hands to grab the smaller boy's. He rubbed them in between his own and sighed, turning his attention back to the sidewalk ahead, noticing that they were only a block away from Yamaguchi's house and not much farther from his own. "Do you wanna come over tonight?" he asked flatly. "We could just watch a movie or something. My mom's been gone this week." Yamaguchi knew what Tsukki was trying to say without having to actually hear it out loud. Since his parents split up and his older brother went off to college, Tsukki's mom had been working a lot more, and as standoffish as he was, Yamaguchi knew that his friend felt lonely without anyone in the house. "Sure, Tsukki!" he chirped, looking down at his hands, which were still enclosed in larger, gloved ones. "Wow, Tsukki. I didn't know you could be nice," he joked. The taller scoffed, but he had a slight smile on his face as he gave the cold hands one last squeeze before returning them to their owner. "Better?" he asked, "now you can go back to freezing".

When they finally arrived at the Tsukishima's front porch, they kicked the snow off of the bottoms of their shoes and pushed almost desperately through the door and into the entryway. They sighed contentedly as the warm air enveloped them and thawed them out, starting at their numb fingers and toes. Tsukki flipped on some lights and wandered into the kitchen. "You hungry?" he called to the entryway where Yams was evidently still stuck. "Starving!" was the response, and the taller boy began to shift through the contents of his pantry to find something simple to make. He settled on ramen. Both boys knew that he couldn't cook for shit, and today wasn't going to be an exception. Tsukki put a pot of water on the stove to boil as his friend appeared to drag himself into the kitchen, pushing up to sit on the countertop. He looked tired, and Tsukishima knew this meant he'd fall asleep almost as soon as the movie started, but he couldn't blame the freckled boy. After such a long day, the warm food and cozy house made him want to doze off right at the stove.

As soon as the ramen was ready, the boys raced upstairs and settled into the worn couch in Tsukki's room. Tsukishima was on the left side and Yamaguchi on the right, just like they had sat the first time Yamaguchi had come over and politely waited for his new friend to offer him the seat first. Now, however, they didn't sit on the very far edge of their respective sides, they sat closer to the middle, where their thighs could just barely touch without giving the wrong idea to the other. Without insinuating anything beyond a friendship. More recently than ever, Yamaguchi found his cheeks burning red hot anytime Tsukki would compliment him in practice or their hands would brush against each other as they walked home. In the same way, he found that a little piece of his heart broke each time a girl from school would give him a confession and ask if he wouldn't mind delivering it to his taller friend. He tried to convince himself that he was jealous of Tsukki, that he wanted girls to like him too, but he knew that wasn't true. Hell, he had known about his crush on Tsukki since he was ten years old and had scraped his knee on the sidewalk after attempting a cartwheel meant to impress his friend. Tsukishima had so carefully placed a dinosaur bandage on his knee, tongue poking out of the corner of his mouth as he concentrated on sticking it to the right place. "There," he had whispered, admiring his handiwork. "All better?" he had asked. "All better, Tsukki!" That was the first time Yamaguchi had used the nickname that now sat so comfortably on the tip of his tongue. They sipped the last drops of broth from their bowls as the scene changed on the screen in front of them. The snow fell in sheets outside the window, but it went unnoticed by the boys, who were tucked under a shared blanket, eyes focused ahead of them at the bright screen. Just as Tsukki suspected, Yamaguchi's eyelids drooped almost as soon as he set his bowl down and a quiet yawn compelled him. Tsukki smirked, amused as the yawn was passed to him, then back to the shorter one again. In a half-conscious state, Yamaguchi let the heavy weight of his head fall against Tsukishima's shoulder as he drifted to sleep and the blonde followed suit not long after, the voices on the TV still droning on in the background.

When Tsukki awoke, the first thing he noticed was a sharp pain in his neck from sleeping on it wrong. The second thing, he noticed very closely after, was the warmth of a body pressed up against him even as it was pulled tightly into a ball. He felt a slight tingle where warm fingers had made their way around his waist and creeped part way under his shirt so that they touched bare skin. It was still mostly dark outside, but the dim blue glow of dawn seeped in through the slits in the blinds and cast faint streaks of light over the boys' faces. Tsukki found himself using this barely-there light to count Yamaguchi's freckles. He wondered how many times he had done it before, it was certainly too many to count. It was harder to find them now; the lack of golden sunshine that came with the winter months caused the tan flecks to dull until they were barely noticeable, but if Tsukki pulled his face a little closer to his friend's, he could just make out the pattern of dots he'd grown so familiar with. He got about halfway across the smaller boy's face before falling back asleep, the soft lull of Yamaguchi's breath against his chest pulling him into a comfortable state of rest. 


	2. Chapter 2

A few hours later, a loud click resounded in the Tsukishima house as the front door was unlocked and shoved open. “Kei?” a woman’s voice called; there was a slight shivering sound that followed as she shook the cold off in favor of the heated house. “I’m home, honey! Is Tadashi here?” At the mention of his given name, Yamaguchi woke with a start, only to see Tsukki’s chest right in front of him where he had apparently tucked his head during the night. His eyes grew wide as he started to pull away, struggling to yank his arm out from underneath the taller one’s torso. In all of the franticity, Tsukki stirred awake, eyes only half open from sleep, and met his friend’s flushed face only inches from his. Yamaguchi’s breath hitched as he ceased movement for just a second, finding the sight of his sleepy friend cuter than he wanted to say aloud, and then remembered his goal. Tsukki, now feeling the discomfort of the bony arm jutting into his ribcage, began to sit up. The brunette’s arm finally pulled free, causing him to tumble off the couch and hit the wooden floor below with a muffled thump. He scrambled to his feet. “Sorry, Tsukki!” he exclaimed as his friend reached for his glasses. “I promise I didn’t mean to fall asleep here. With you. I should’ve moved to the floor but I was just so tired and I-” “It’s fine Yamaguchi,” Tsukki interrupted in a gravelly, sleep-laced voice that definitely didn’t help soothe the red tint that pulsed angrily in his cheeks. “We’re friends,” he continued matter-of-factly with an indifferent shrug. Tadashi opened his mouth as if to reply, but another call echoed through the house and Tsukki stood up, immediately making his way out his bedroom door.

“Mom?” he asked as he peeked his head into the kitchen. She looked up and smiled, still wearing her baby blue scrubs as she shifted through the mail. “So Tadashi is here,” she remarked, and Tsukki noticed that his friend had appeared by his side. “I figured as much. How are you, dear? And how’s your family? I haven’t been able to see them lately, what with all the night shifts!” She kept the soft smile on her lips; it was genuine, but her eyes revealed how tired she was. “We’re all doing great, oba-san! What about you? My mom keeps saying how much she misses having you over, she gets sick of only having boys in the house,” Yamaguchi laughed, and Tsukki revelled in the easy conversation, appreciating how close their two families had gotten over the years. His severe lack of close friends outside of Yamaguchi made him appreciate the comfortable interactions all the more. He wondered if he’d ever find someone that fell into place in his life as easily as Tadashi had. After a moment, he slowly rejoined the conversation, trying to gather context as to what topic they had moved on to. “Have you boys looked outside this morning? If this weather keeps up, you may be out of school next week!” Tsukki’s mom exclaimed vibrantly as the teenagers rushed to the window to find that the ground was now coated with what looked to be a foot deep of white, fluffy powder. “So much snow, Tsukki!” Yamaguchi gasped, hugging onto the blonde’s arm with bright eyes. Kei looked down at him with a small chuckle at his friend’s excitement- the snowstorms came every year, but Tadashi was still fascinated by the sight. Behind them, Tsukishima’s mom gazed knowingly, her son didn’t smile like that for just anyone. The Yamaguchi boy drew happiness from him, and in her frequent absence, she was thankful for his consistent presence in Kei’s life. “I’m going to go rest up,” she spoke as she disappeared into her room. “You boys have fun. Tadashi, please make Kei go outside for at least a little bit today.” Tsukki groaned, a chill already starting down his spine at the prospect, but Yamaguchi just laughed and grabbed his hand, dragging him upstairs to get bundled up before they voluntarily spent the day freezing their asses off. 

Unfortunately, school was not cancelled the following Monday and all of the students at Karasuno trudged the halls, glancing longingly at the snowy (but apparently not snowy enough) weather outside. When lunch finally arrived, Tsukki and Yamaguchi wasted no time leaving the classroom to find Hinata and Kageyama, their fellow second years who were just a couple of classes below them. They sat in the hallway and began to eat their lunch. Hinata, as per usual, chattered away about the day he was having, earning an swift elbow to the rib when he bragged that his 46% on the most recent exam surpassed Kageyama’s 38%. Tsukki scoffed and Yamaguchi glanced at him, trying his best to hide his disbelief that Hinata was actually bragging about such a score. All of the sudden, a timid voice resonated between the four. “Um… Yamaguchi-kun? Could I talk to you for a minute?” a girl from his and Tsukki’s class stood a generous distance from the group of boys so as not to intrude on their conversation. Kei shifted his glance to meet hers and she turned white as a ghost, gluing her eyes to her shoes until Yamaguchi guided her a few feet away, asking her what she needed. “Dumbass! What did you just do to the poor girl?” Kageyama laughed, much to Tsukishima’s annoyance. “I didn’t do anything, I just looked at her,” he responded, his words carrying a little more bite than usual. “Maybe it’s another confession for you, Tsukki!” Hinata exclaimed. “You’ve gotten more confessions this year than all of us combined! Probably because you always look so cool when you block!” Hinata had an expression of envy mixed with admiration that starkly countered Kageyama’s disgusted eyeroll (he had only gotten one confession so far). Honestly, Tsukki hated the attention. The only perk for him was being able to gloat about his desirability to Kageyama, who seemed to get even angrier each time the subject was brought up. Tadashi returned from his talk, and sure enough, he was holding a small letter decorated with stickers. The other three looked back at him in anticipation and after a short moment, he announced who’s name was written on the outside. “Tsukki, it's for you… again,” he smiled, but there was disappointment in his eyes. “Thanks, Yamaguchi,” he said, taking the note from him , their fingers lightly brushing. Tsukki didn’t seem to notice the freckled boy pull his hand back quickly as a small blush creeped up his face. He skimmed the note quickly before shoving it in his back pocket just as the bell rang for lunch to end. The friends gave quick goodbyes and headed back to class. The girl from earlier, much to Tsukki’s distress, was waiting hopefully outside the classroom door for him, and no doubt, his response. He nodded for Tadashi to go ahead as he met the small girl’s eyes with his own. The brunette sat at his desk, unsuccessfully trying to hear what his friend was telling the girl. Kei never accepted the confessions, but it still put him on edge each time. The girls were always pretty and seemed nice enough, maybe his tall friend was just waiting for the right one. Each time, he wondered if this would be the right one. Tsukishima returned to his seat next to Yams, looking straight ahead to the chalkboard at the front of the room. “Well?” Yamaguchi whispered. “Well, what?” Tsukki retorted. “I told her I wasn’t interested, just like always.” 

The walk home was silent, but today, there was a slight tension in the air, even when Tsukki’s headphones covered his ears and put up an invisible wall between them. A question burned on the tip of Tadashi’s tongue, but he had to wait until Tsukki was ready to talk to ask him. After a few minutes, Kei pulled his headphones down to sit around his neck and sighed, stretching his arms in the air and letting them come to a resting point clasped around the back of his head. “What’s the matter with you?” he asked dryly. “W-what do you mean, Tsukki?” Tsukishima turned his gaze to his smaller friend and raised an eyebrow. Tadashi fiddled with his hands for a moment before stopping on the sidewalk and turning to face Kei completely. “Why do you always reject the confessions?” This caught Tsukishima off guard, and he stopped walking too. He grew visibly nervous as he tried to think of an answer to give. “Uh… I guess they’re just not really my type,” he finally mustered. “You don’t find any of them attractive?” Another pause. “Well,” Tsukki began, carefully choosing his words, “I can see how other people would, but... I don’t know... I guess not?” he replied, more as a question than a statement. “Do you?” Tadashi sucked in a breath of the cold winter air, just now realizing how cold he was as the snow started to melt into his shoes, making his toes all tingly like that first snow day with Tsukki. “I guess not,” he said and continued walking again. Now the silence between them was welcome as the boys took in the scenery around them. It was the same landscape that they’d walked by together after school every day for almost a decade, but everything looked so new with a thin, fresh coat of glittering snow on top of it. 

When the boys arrived back at Kei’s empty house, they went straight to his room. Tsukki pulled two clean sweatshirts out of a drawer, slipping one over his own head and tossing the other to Tadashi, who had his nose buried in his phone. The sweatshirt hit his side and bounced off, finally diverting his attention from the small screen in his hand. “Thanks, Tsukki,” Yamaguchi smiled, picking up the hoodie and sliding his arms through before burying his head in the middle. He tried to push through the other side, but flailed around a little as he struggled to find the hole meant for his head. “Uh, Tsukki?” he asked, a little embarrassed but mostly amused that he had managed to get himself so stuck. “A little help?” Tsukishima groaned, but there wasn’t anger in the sound. “Come here,” he sighed. Yamaguchi hesitantly walked toward the voice, trying not to trip over anything on the way. When he felt Tsukki’s hands on his shoulders, he stopped moving, and the sweatshirt shifted around a little before Tsukki managed to push the neck hole over his friend’s head, hands lingering against the freckled cheeks for a second too long before he turned away, rubbing the notch on the back of his neck. He picked up his phone and saw a string of new texts had come through on the team group chat. “Did you see these messages?” He asked, turning to his friend who was now sitting on his side of the couch with his knees pulled up to his chest, looking extra small in the hoodie that seemed to swallow him up, even if he wasn’t too much shorter than Tsukishima. “From Daichi and Suga? Yeah! There’s a team sleepover tonight, Tsukki- we should go!” Tsukki pretended to think it over. “I’d rather take twenty of the freak duo’s quick attacks to the face than have to experience a delirious Hinata and Nishinoya.” The freckled boy’s face visibly drooped, his eyes growing wide and lips pouty. Both of them had learned long ago that this was a face that was very hard for Kei to say no to. “Fine, we’ll go,” Tsukki groaned. But you have to watch the Jurassic Park movies with me this weekend.” “Deal, Tsukki!” “All three?” Tadashi smiled. “Sure, Tsukki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the support so far! i hope you like it so far and i promise things will get a little more exciting in the next chapter:)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> team sleepover :P

The sun was starting to set as Tsukishima and Yamaguchi rang the doorbell to Daichi’s house. They were running a little late because Tsukki had taken his sweet time packing, hoping he could shorten the amount of time he’d have to be present at the team sleepover. Yams practically had to drag him out of his bedroom. “I promise you’ll have fun if you try to, Tsukki,” he pleaded. “And if you’re having a bad time, I’ll go home with you, okay?” Tsukishima had only grunted, but the freckled boy took that as a good sign and flashed one of his sunny smiles. When Daichi opened the door, Noya was practically hanging off of him and Hinata and Tanaka’s loud laughter echoed through the entryway. The captain already looked a little tired, but he was amused enough. “Come on in, guys,” he chuckled, and the two boys made their way to the living room where the rest of the team was already making themselves comfortable. “You can leave your shoes at the door. Oh, and we have dinner in the kitchen!”

It had been dark for a few hours before the boys finally started to wind down. Everyone but Nishinoya sat in a circle, sprawled out on top of each other and working to conceal their yawns. Tsukki sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, trying his best to avoid the contact that the rest of his team seemed to be so comfortable with. Only Yamaguchi leaned against him, head resting on his shoulder and eyes drooping. Even the tuft of hair that usually stuck up pin-straight on his head seemed to be wilting. At this point, he felt no need to draw away from the smaller boy. His touch had grown comforting, his warmth always spread across Tsukki’s skin with such ease, putting his perpetual anxiety to rest if only for a moment. He felt an urge to wrap his arms around his friend, let him know somehow that he appreciated Yamaguchi’s closeness, but he restrained himself, turning his focus back to Noya standing in the middle of the circle as energetic as ever. “Why do you guys look so tired already? The party’s just getting started!” he exclaimed, a little too loud for Tsukki’s comfort. “Okay, Noya. What did you have in mind?” Suga responded with a yawn. He was tucked between Daichi’s legs, back up against the captain’s chest, and he looked like he was about ready to go to sleep. “I don’t know! We only ever talk about volleyball, I’m ready to spice things up a bit,” Noya responded with a mischievous look, and Tanaka and Hinata visibly perked up. “Yeah! Let’s talk about girls! Or… uh… crushes,” Tanaka corrected himself, glancing over at Daichi and Suga, who blushed at the obvious reference to their unspoken relationship. “I, personally, feel like my relationship with Kiyoko is at an all time high! I asked her if I could borrow a pen after practice and she acknowledged me!” Tanaka stood and looked around the circle with lovesick eyes. “I mean, she didn’t have an extra pen, but she did talk to me.” He puffed out his chest pridefully as he returned to his seat on the carpet. Noya looked a bit dejected at this and replied “Shit, Ryu, she hasn’t talked directly to me all week. But I did get a confession today and-” “So did Tsukishima!” Hinata interrupted, “well, but he gets them all the time! Much more often than Kageyama and I do.” Kageyama scowled as the rest of the team erupted in shouts of disbelief, asking all sorts of questions over each other. The group had exploded into pure chaos, and Tsukki was not having it. He shrunk back into himself as the boys crowded him with suggestive “Ooooh’s”. Tadashi was quick to notice Tsukki’s discomfort. “Relax, guys,” he called, “he never accepts them anyways.” This remark was met with a sudden hush. 

“What?!” Tanaka finally shattered the silence. Tsukki seemed to try to crawl even further into himself, and Yamaguchi squeezed his arm to help stabilize him. “Well, are they cute?” Noya questioned. A pause. “Yeah, they’re cute,” Kageyama responded bitterly. “So then… why would you not accept them, Tsukki?!” Noya asked in disbelief; Kei didn’t like hearing his nickname from the libero’s lips. “I don’t know.” It came out a whisper despite how hard he had tried to sound unbothered. “Dude, these girls are doing all the work for you! The least you could do is humor them for one date, especially if they’re cute!” Ennoshita exclaimed and Kinoshita added, “Yeah, Tsukishima, you should text the girl from today! Just go on one date, it’ll only take a couple hours of your time.” Tsukki looked to Suga and Daichi, hoping they would call the hyper underclassmen off. Daichi just shrugged, “I think it’d be good for you to meet some new people. Plus, if you reject everyone you’ll make a reputation for yourself- people will start to think you’re not as sweet and approachable as you look!” Suga laughed a little at the last comment and nodded. “It can’t hurt, right?” Tsukki scowled as he pulled the confession from earlier out of his back pocket. “If I text her, will you leave me alone?” “Yes, Tsukki, text her!” Nishinoya shouted, and the rest of the team gushed excitedly as Tsukki grabbed his phone, sending a quick message: Sorry for rejecting your confession earlier today. I thought about it more and decided I’d like to go on a date if you’re still interested. 

When the team finally made up their sleeping bags on the floor, Tsukki made it a point to get as close as possible to Yamaguchi. When the freckled boy had finally let go of his arm, Kei was left feeling oddly empty, oddly alone. Again, he had an urge to reach out to Tadashi, who looked so peaceful turned on his side with a blanket pulled up to his chin, and this time, he didn’t suppress it. Instead, Tsukki scooted up against his friend’s back and tucked his head into the crook of the smaller boy’s neck, revelling in the feeling of safety that washed over him. Unknown to him, Tadashi was still half awake, melting at the feeling of Tsukki’s breath against his skin as a red hot blush flooded his cheeks.

A/N: sorry this was short and a little late haha but the election's been a little stressful! stay safe and be empathetic to your friends and family who might be extra stressed in this crazy time! lots of love<3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little bit of fluff, a little bit of angst:)

When Tsukki woke up, it must’ve been early. The room that the whole team had crowded into was still dark, still eerily quiet. But despite this, he was warm pressed up against Yamaguchi’s back, arm wrapped around his waist, fingers laying gingerly on the bare skin where the freckled boy’s worn t-shirt had ridden up during the night. Maybe Tsukki had pushed up the soft fabric himself, he didn’t know. For a moment, he wondered if the girl from yesterday had texted him back, but he quickly dismissed the thought, not wanting to get anxious again. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, relaxing at Yamaguchi’s comforting smell as he attempted to bring his mind back down to earth. He tried to fall back asleep, but he couldn’t. He thought to count Tadashi’s freckles again, but there wasn’t nearly enough light in the room to see, especially without his glasses. Instead, he pulled his friend closer to him, barely sliding his hand up the half-formed abs as he did so. A breathy sigh emerged from the smaller boy, and for some reason, it sent shivers down Tsukki’s spine. All of a sudden, he felt incredibly aware of where he was. How his hand had so easily stretched across Tadashi’s stomach. How their legs were just barely intertwined. How he wanted nothing more than to lift his head slightly and press a soft kiss to the back of the dotted neck, and-  _ Holy shit.  _ Tsukki tensed up at the idea that now hammered around his head and begged it to leave. Him and Yamaguchi were friends. He was straight.  _ (Was he straight?)  _ Yeah… he was straight. And Tadashi was straight. ( _ Wasn’t he?)  _ And straight guys didn’t think things like that about their straight friends. But straight guys also didn’t hold each other like he held Yams, did they?  _ Fuck.  _ He could feel his heart racing as thoughts overwhelmed him. Had he given Tadashi the wrong idea? Or worse, had his friend been able to sense his feelings even before he had even recognized them himself? He feverishly began to pull away even though he knew it meant going back to his own cold sleeping bag that offered nothing for him to grasp onto. He started to turn, trying to be as quiet as possible in his volatile state, but something stopped him in his tracks. “Tsukki?” a sleep-filled voice purred, cutting the silence in the room like a knife. Tsukki swallowed. “Yes?” he choked out in what was just barely a whisper. “Are you okay, Tsukki? You were shaking… I- I was worried about you.” Yamaguchi was still facing the opposite direction, but even so, Tsukki could see his fingertips ghost over where the bigger hand had previously rested on his stomach, where he had left the skin exposed to cool air.  _ Had he been awake too? _ “Oh… uh, yeah Yamaguchi. I’m okay.” At this, Tadashi turned on his side until he was looking at his friend, their faces only inches apart. “Tsukki… you’re  _ still  _ shaking,” he put a comforting hand on Tsukki’s cheek. “What were you thinking about?” ... _ You _ , he wanted to answer, but he didn’t. “I… I don’t know Tadashi,” he replied softly, using Yamaguchi’s given name. Both boys pretended not to notice, just like they pretended not to notice that their faces were getting closer to each other with each word. Yamaguchi sucked in a shallow breath. “Tsukki?” A pause. “Yes?” Now Yamaguchi looked anxious. “C-can I tell you something?” “Yes,” came the hoarse response. “Will you promise not to be mad at me, Tsukki?” Though Kei was struggling to focus on the words coming from his friend’s mouth rather than the mouth itself, he managed to reply, “Sure, I promise.” “Okay.” Yamaguchi’s heart pounded and in the silent room, the sound of it was deafening. “I don’t really know how to say this, but… well-” 

“Gooooddd morning, sleepyheads!” Nishinoya’s vibrant voice interrupted. The boys jumped at the noise and sat up immediately, unconciously increasing the space between them. Neither of them understood how he could have this much energy so early in the morning- he hadn’t even fully gotten out of his sleeping bag yet. He rubbed his eyes as the rest of the boys started to wake up, yawning and groaning when they saw through the window how low the sun still was in the sky. “Noyaaa,” Asahi complained, throwing his pillow at the libero’s head, but Noya just laughed. “The sleepover’s not over yet! We still have a few hours left and I think we should make the most of it- you can take a nap later!” Another chorus of grumbles erupted from the team. “Plus, I’m hungry!” “Nishinoya,” Daichi replied, “it’s six. O’clock. In the morning.” The libero rolled his eyes and hopped up onto his feet. Despite how exhausted the rest of them still were, they started to get changed into their clothes for the day. Tsukki picked up his phone and saw a notification:  _ 1 New Message _ . His eyes widened and he quickly turned off his screen, but his not-so-inconspicuous reaction didn’t escape Tanaka. “Oh, Tsukishimaaa,” he sang with a smug grin. “What are you so surprised about? Did you get a response from a special someone?” Almost immediately, the whole team seemed to rush towards him in excitement. There was no avoiding it now. “Yeah, it’s from Aika,” Tsukki replied. “Aika?” Noya questioned. “Holy shit, even her name is hot!” Kei rubbed circles into his temple. “Well, did she reject you for being such an asshole yesterday?” Kageyama spat. “I wasn’t an asshole, Kageyama.” “You’re always an asshole, Tsu-” “Would you two quit fighting?” Daichi commanded more than asked. “What did she say, Tsukishima?” Kei bit his lip as he clicked his phone on again. He took a moment to open and read the text as everyone else waited in anticipation. “Uh, she said she’d love to go out with me. Then she asked if I was available tomorrow,” Tsukki paraphrased, trying to conceal his disinterest as much as possible. Cheers burst from the boys’ mouths and he felt multiple of them give him pats on the back; Suga even reached up to ruffle his hair, which he promptly pushed back into place. “Where are you gonna take her?” Hinata asked. His eyes were wide with total admiration. “Uh… I’m not sure. A new dinosaur movie just came out. Maybe I could take her there?” Tsukki tried, getting laughter from a couple of the guys in response. “You’re joking, right?” Kageyama looked at him with an amused grin, earning a light elbow in the side from the other setter. “That’s a nice idea, Tsukishima, but maybe a coffee shop or park might be a better idea,” Suga suggested. “Right,” Tsukki replied, hiding his embarrassment, “I was just kidding, obviously.” He thought back to how willing Yamaguchi had been to accompany him to the movie when he first heard it was coming out. Tsukki knew his friend wasn’t into that stuff, but Yams always seemed to want to make him happy. “ _ Of course I’ll go with you, Tsukki _ ,” he had chirped before jokingly adding, “ _ as long as you get us some popcorn! _ ” “I guess… coffee shop it is then, I’ll text her back.” He glanced over at Yamaguchi, who looked a little distant, but still as charming as he always was. Tsukki shoved the thought out of his mind and tried to think about Aika. She had long brown hair and blue eyes. She was thin and tall compared to the other girls in their year, but Kei still towered over her. Objectively, she was pretty. She was really pretty, and she seemed fairly smart too from what he had seen of her in class. Maybe the date wouldn’t be too bad. Maybe it would even be  _ good _ . Maybe it would be enough to get Yamaguchi out of his head. 

The walk home from the sleepover was quiet again. Tadashi looked like he was about to cry. Maybe it was just the cold wind left over from the snowstorm. Maybe he was just tired after the long night. Tsukki was too scared to ask. He hadn’t stopped wondering what his friend wanted to tell him earlier that morning. Tadashi had said he was worried Tsukki would be mad, but Tsukki didn’t know what he could ever be mad about when it came to Yamaguchi. Maybe he had crossed the line last night. Usually when they laid that close to each other, it was an accident. A result of them crashing on one of their beds or the couch after a long day of school and practice, but this time, it was intentional. Tsukki knew he had made the conscious decision to pull himself flush against his friend and he was sure Tadashi knew too. Not only that, but it was in the company of their teammates. Maybe Yamaguchi was mad at  _ him _ . Maybe Tsukki had made him uncomfortable. Yamaguchi had never been good at confrontation, usually he would just get quiet when he was upset, just like he was quiet now. “Yamaguchi?” he asked. The freckled boy turned to look at him, but said nothing. “Do you want to come over?” Tadashi turned his gaze to the slush-covered ground beneath his feet. “Uh… I don’t think so, Tsukki. Not today.”  _ Fuck.  _ “Yeah, okay. I know we’re both tired from the sleepover. No problem.” he replied in his best imitation of his usual unbothered tone of voice. When they arrived at Yamaguchi’s house, he waved goodbye, and Tadashi lifted a hand in return before disappearing through the front door. Tsukki kicked a rock down the sidewalk the rest of the way home as his anxiety began to build again.  _ It’s okay,  _ he thought _. Maybe this is better. Now I know he doesn’t feel that way towards me. Why would he? We’re just friends.  _ He pushed his way into his empty house with a sigh.  _ But what if he hates me now? What if he  _ knows _ , and he hates me for it? No,  _ he countered.  _ This is better. Now I can focus more on liking Aika _ , he tried to justify to himself. As he laid in bed that night, however, he kept picturing Yamaguchi’s bright smile and the tan freckles that dotted his cheeks. He felt sick. He was sure Tadashi didn’t feel the same way, but he worried that in his own infatuation, he had managed to lose his closest (and maybe his only real) friend. 


	5. Chapter 5

When Tsukki woke up the next morning, he felt just as empty as his house inevitably was. Sleep had brought a nice escape from the day before, but as soon as he opened his eyes, all of the anxiety came rushing back into his mind. Even though his body felt like lead, he pulled himself out of bed, finding that he only had a couple of hours before the time his date was scheduled for. He had texted back and forth with Aika over the past day to coordinate their plans. He would meet her at the train station and they’d travel a little further into the city where they could get a coffee and maybe something to eat. Tsukki sighed as he opened his closet door, pulling out a cream button-up shirt to wear under his favorite sweater, which, coincidentally, was given to him by Yamaguchi on his last birthday. Maybe he chose it on purpose, but it _was_ cold outside, and he didn’t have many other options. He walked into the bathroom and fixed his hair, only fully realizing how close he was to his first date when he pulled back and got a full view of himself. He took a deep breath, trying to steel his nerves. _It’ll be okay. It’s only a couple hours. All you have to do is have a decent time and forget about Yamaguchi. Forget about Yamaguchi, focus on Aika._ Yeah, okay. He headed out the door.

His anxiety only got worse as he waited for Aika at the train station, and when he finally saw her walking towards him, he could physically feel his heart drop. She gave a cute wave and a sunny smile that almost rivaled Yamaguchi’s. _Almost_ . “Hi, Tsukishima!” She said brightly, and he noticed for the first time a light spatter of freckles that dotted her cheeks. “Hi Aika. Uh… thanks for giving me another chance. Sorry I said no the first time,” he apologized awkwardly, but she didn’t seem to notice his hesitation. “No problem! _I’m_ sorry if I pressured you to answer right away, I know confessions can be a little forward sometimes,” she giggled. Tsukki nodded with a small, embarrassed smile. “So,” she started after a moment of silence, “where are you taking me?”

The bus ride was actually somewhat pleasant. Aika didn’t seem to mind all of the gaps in conversation that Tsukki struggled to fill. Instead, she asked questions or remarked about the view outside the speeding window. And when they arrived at their destination, she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the crowded train, gawking at the new city. “Would it surprise you if I told you I’ve never been downtown?” She looked at him with such bewilderment in her eyes that it made him laugh a little. “Really?” She shook her head before realizing she still had his hand in hers. “Sorry,” she blushed, loosening her grasp, “It’s just so exciting!” He smiled again, mildly surprised that he wasn’t more uncomfortable at her touch. It wasn’t necessarily enjoyable, but he didn’t feel like jumping out of his skin, which he supposed was good. “Coffee shop’s this way,” he tilted his head to the right, gesturing which direction they should start walking. “They’re known for their strawberry shortcake. It’s my favorite.” Aika grinned and let him lead the way. 

They had talked the whole way there, but when they sat down after Tsukki ordered a tea and a slice of his favorite cake for each of them, they were finally face to face. “So, you’re on the volleyball team, right? That’s _so_ cool!” she exclaimed. “Yeah, I’m a middle blocker.” She laughed. “Figures, with your height!” “Well, I’m the tallest one on the team, so it’s best for me to be there. Kageyama’s pretty tall too, though. And so is Yamaguchi.” Aika looked up as if she were recalling something. “That’s right, Yamaguchi’s in class with us! Is he a middle blocker too?” Tsukki froze, cursing under his breath for bringing up his friend in the first place. “Oh… uh, no. He’s our pinch server.” She hummed as their order was brought to the table. “You two are friends, aren’t you? I always see you together. He’s really smart in class!” A pause. _Fuck, Tsukki, pull yourself together! Answer the question, move on, forget Yamaguchi. Simple._ “He is,” Tsukki responded, he couldn’t help the light dusting of pink that spread across his face. “And yeah, he’s my best friend. For as long as I can remember. We grew up together.” Aika nodded as she began to eat the cake, humming in satisfaction. “He seems really nice. You two are close then?” Tsukki nodded. “He’s my favorite person.” She giggled, teasing “you have a favorite person? I thought you had that whole lone wolf persona pretty down pat!” She dug back into her cake, a grin still on her lips. “Yeah… well, I guess I’m not always the best at communicating… or relationships.... or, whatever. But Tadashi gets that. He understands me better than anyone else, and he likes me for who I am.” She turned her attention back to him, a bit shocked that he seemed to be opening up a little more, but she didn’t speak, wanting to let him continue. “You know, sometimes I wish I could tell him that. Just… how important he is to me, but… I don’t know…” he trailed off, only just remembering that the whole goal of this date was to ignore Yamaguchi. He picked up his fork a little awkwardly, bringing it to the plate but not actually taking a bite. Aika cleared her throat, bringing Tsukki back into the moment. Her bright smile from earlier was gone; now it was turned into a softer, more empathetic look. “Uh… sorry. I don’t know why I told you that. I usually don’t-” “It’s okay, Tsukishima,” she interrupted, setting down her fork. “Uh, hey, can I ask you something?” she questioned. Tsukki looked at her somewhat nervously. “Sure.” She took in a deep breath. “Do you like me Tsukishima? It’s just… I know lots of girls have sent you confessions, and I know you always reject them. I guess I’m just wondering… why did you say yes to me?” Tsukki looked at her with wide eyes, tensing up. He tried to choose his words carefully even as his brain started to scramble. “Aika, you’re really pretty,” he managed. She met his eyes thoughtfully. “But?” she asked, and he let out an anxiety-laced sigh. “But, truthfully, I guess I just wanted to test something out…” She furrowed her brows, a mix of concern and curiosity riddled her face. “Tsukishima? What did you want to test out?” He looked down at his uneaten strawberry shortcake, deciding that what he was going to say next would be easier if he talked at the dessert rather than her. At this point, he felt almost like he could cry, not that he ever would in public, especially not on a first date. “I think I wanted to figure out if I could,” he hesitated. “I-if I could like a girl.” For the first time that day, Aika was at a loss for words. Tsukki was terrified of whatever expression she might have, so he kept his eyes glued to the cake. All of the sudden, he felt her hand reach out and grab his again, but this time, it was tender and fully intentional. “Tsukki?” she asked, her voice so soft that it coaxed the boy to finally look up at her. “Can I ask you one more thing?” He bit his lip, but gestured affirmatively. “You… you like Yamaguchi, don’t you?” He swallowed, but made no attempt to lie to her. He nodded slowly and she squeezed his hand. “I’m sorry, Aika, I didn’t mean to use you or anything, I just- I needed to be sure.” “Tsukishima, I understand. It’s okay,” she reassured him. “I’m just glad I get to be your first and last accepted confession,” she joked, and his body relaxed. He let out a small chuckle and rolled his eyes. “Shut up,” he laughed, but there was no bitterness in his voice. “But seriously, thank you.” “Don’t worry about it,” Aika replied. “And I promise I won’t tell anyone.” Tsukki looked visibly relieved, but even so, he teased, “you know, there’s still plenty of other guys on the volleyball team I could set you up with.”

Tsukki walked through his front door after returning home from the date, but that’s as far as his legs seemed to have the energy to carry him and he collapsed against the back of the closed door. He breathed a sigh of relief that it was over, and more importantly, that it had gone really well, even if it wasn’t in the way he had been hoping. It wasn’t long though before a wave of grief washed over him. He had admitted his feelings for Yamaguchi, and now they felt real. Like they could swallow him whole if he wasn’t careful. He sunk to the ground, unable to hold himself up any longer. “Kei, is that you?” he heard his mom shout from the kitchen. He didn’t realize that she would be home. “Yeah, it’s me,” he called; there was obvious exhaustion in his voice. A pause. “Are you okay honey?” Aside from Yamaguchi, she was one of the only people who could easily pick up on his feelings, even when he was doing his best to hide them. She met him in the entryway where he was now sitting, his back still pressed against the door, a concerned look on her face. “Did the date go badly?” she asked. He hadn’t had a chance to tell her much about Aika leading up to today, but he _had_ told her where he was going. “No, it was actually… nice. _She_ was nice.” She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate, but when he didn’t, she continued, “so then what’s wrong?” His eyes began to well up with tears and now, he actually started to cry. He couldn’t remember the last time he had cried in front of her, or anyone really. “Oh honey,” she whispered and sat beside him on the floor. She wrapped her arms around him, rubbing his back, and let his face fall onto her shoulder as he cried. “I can’t like her, ka-chan. I wish I could but I can’t.” “And why’s that?” she cooed, trying her best to comfort him. At this, he pulled his head up to look straight at her, his eyes red and glossy. “I can’t like her because…” he sucked in a shuddering breath, “because I like Tadashi. Mom, I like him _so much_.” She looked back at him with tears forming in her own eyes. “I know, baby. I know. And it’s okay.” She nodded reassuringly, pulling him into a tight hug. “You don’t have to worry. I know I’m not here as often as I’d like to be, and I’m so sorry for that. But I love you, and I’m here for you, always.” Another choked sob came from Tsukki as he grasped her tighter.

Tsukki fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow that night, the day’s emotions had completely drained his energy, but he was glad he had told someone. Now he just had to figure out how to get Yamaguchi to not hate him again.

A/N: thank you guys so much for reading- i hope you're liking it so far! next chapter will be more focused on yams:D also can i get an amen for people being ~understanding~ when someone comes out to them (we stan aika & mama). also go listen to dark red by steve lacy it gives me tsukki vibes okay bye hope you're having a wonderful day:)


	6. Chapter 6

  
The next week, everyone was on edge. It was incredible how much the team dynamic shifted when there was an issue between only two of them. During practice on Monday, all the boys had crowded Tsukki, pressing him for details on his date. “It’s none of your business,” he had said in his usual dry tone, but when the team still wouldn’t leave him alone, he added, “if you  _ must  _ know, she was nice and we had a good time.” He didn’t let anyone in on what they had talked about, but he supposed he had been honest enough without giving too much away. After making his statement, Yamaguchi seemed more distant than ever. Tsukki still hadn’t talked to him about the night of the sleepover, but he figured Tadashi  _ had  _ to know he liked him. Still, the freckled boy hadn’t confronted him about it, instead, he seemed to be avoiding him like never before. In class, Yamaguchi had made a point to focus on the teacher at all times rather than turning to Tsukki to make jokes or ask questions about the lecture. At practice, it was even worse. Tadashi clung to Suga’s side instead of Tsukki’s during team talks as well as on the sidelines during scrimmages, and as unfeeling as the middle blocker seemed to be, everyone noticed him throwing anxious glances to Yamaguchi every time he caught a break on the court. He was even slow on his comebacks when Kageyama picked apart his messy blocks. The odd dynamic left a cloud of tension hanging over the team that only grew thicker as the week progressed. By Wednesday, Tsukki was missing almost half of his blocks and had to be switched out. He sat on the bench with Yamaguchi. Suga was in between them, but the glances persisted, even when the freckled boy kept his eyes glued intently to the court. Yamaguchi had asked Suga for a ride home each day, leaving Tsukki to walk home on his own, forcing him to be alone with his thoughts for even longer than usual. And every night, Tsukki worked on his homework or sat in front of his glowing TV on his own, realizing as he glanced at Yamaguchi’s empty spot on the couch just how touch starved he really was. He could hardly focus on anything he was doing and the nights passed in a blur. The only thing on his mind was that he had crossed the line with Tadashi and potentially lost his best friend forever. By Friday, the unrest in the air was unbearable. Even Noya and Tanaka had lost their desire to joke around and Hinata kept his energy much more concealed. Needless to say, Daichi ended practice early, telling everyone to get some rest over the weekend and come back prepared to work a little harder the next week. “Suga, can you take me home again?” Yamaguchi asked as Tsukki glared at him with a sort of desperation he wasn’t about to address. “Sure,” Suga sighed, more concern in his voice than annoyance. “Can you help Daichi and I clean up the gym before we go?” Tadashi nodded, setting his things down to help roll up the net. At this, Tsukki scoffed and left the gym, hand reaching behind him to rub the notch in his neck. Tadashi knew that was a telltale sign that his friend was stressed, but he tried his best to ignore it, letting out a sigh of relief when the heavy gym door finally shut behind him. When only the three of them were left, Suga stopped cleaning and turned towards Yamaguchi. “Okay, what’s up with you and Tsukishima?” he asked, sounding exhausted. “Me and Tsukki? What do you mean?” the first year bluffed. Daichi sighed; “don’t try to bullshit us Yamaguchi, the tension between you two is so obvious that it’s made the whole team insufferable.” “Did he do something to you?” Suga questioned with worry, putting a hand on his underclassman’s shoulder. “If he did something to you, I swear I’ll-” “Daichi, stop,” Yams interrupted. “He didn’t do anything to me… at least not directly.” Suga tilted his head in curiosity. “Then what’s going on between you two?” Tadashi paused and seemed to shrink into himself a little. Even though he was taller than most of his other teammates, he had an accidental talent for making himself look small. “Please don’t think I’m a horrible person, but… I- I think I’m jealous.” Daichi and Suga looked at each other in confusion. “Of what?” the captain asked, and Tadashi took in a breath. “...I think I’m jealous of Tsukki’s date. With Aika. And I know it’s not right, but I’ve been really mad at him for it. I haven’t even talked to him this week,” he whimpered; he was rambling now. “I didn’t even ask him how it went. I just got mad and thought it would help if I ignored him. But now I’m mad  _ and  _ a bad friend. He’s been all by himself all week and he doesn’t even know why! He doesn’t know that it’s not even really his fault.” He took a shaky breath as a tear rolled down his cheek. Suga gestured for Tadashi to sit down on the bench to the side of the court, Daichi and himself following shortly after. “You’re not a bad friend, Yamaguchi. You have feelings too, and it makes sense that you might be jealous or mad. It’s going to be okay, you just need to talk to him,” Suga cooed, trying to comfort the boy. “Yeah, it’s best to let him know how you’re feeling,” Daichi agreed. “You know better than anyone that Tsukishima can be more understanding than we give him credit for. I mean, did he even know that you liked Aika when he accepted the confession?” Tadashi used the back of his hands to wipe the tears from his eyes, which quickly grew wide in surprise. “What?!” he exclaimed more than asked. “I don’t like Aika! I don’t even  _ know  _ Aika!” Suga shot a look of mixed amusement and disbelief at Daichi. “You dumbass!” he laughed, grabbing Daichi’s hand and causing the captain to blush. “He doesn’t like Aika, he likes Tsukishima!” Daichi’s mouth dropped slightly as he tried to comprehend the new information, and Tadashi turned his eyes to Suga, who was still scoffing at the captain’s ignorance. “Wait, how did you know, Sugawara-san?” Suga just smiled endearingly at his junior. “I saw the way you were sleeping at the party. That and the way that you two shamelessly flirt at  _ every  _ practice,” he joked, causing Yamaguchi’s cheeks to glow red. “Have you ever asked him  _ why  _ he hasn’t accepted a confession before now?” Tadashi nodded. “He said he just didn’t find any of them attractive.” Daichi now had apparently had enough time to think, and he rejoined the conversation with a despairing groan. “Yamaguchi, you two are completely hopeless!” The freckled boy’s face dropped and Suga elbowed him, encouraging him to try again, but nicer this time. “I just mean that it seems pretty obvious that you both like each other, so why haven’t you told him?” Tadashi fiddled with the bottom hem of his t-shirt. “Well, I wanted to, but I was scared he wouldn’t feel the same. That he would think I was weird... or gross… or  _ something _ , and he’d hate me. And then the whole thing with Aika happened, and he said the date went well, and I don’t want to get in the way of his happiness-” “Does he seem happy to  _ you  _ right now, Yamaguchi?” Suga asked. “...I- I guess not… it’s just that we’ve been best friends for so long, I don’t want to risk ruining it.” Suga hummed, looking at Daichi. “I know we haven’t really told the team yet, but we were friends for a long time too,” he said. “And it was scary when we admitted we wanted more than that. But it’s working really well for us,” he squeezed Daichi’s hand with a smile. “And I have no doubt that it could work well for you guys too.” The captain nodded as Yamaguchi’s adoration for his upperclassmen grew apparent on his face. “Yeah, you just have to actually  _ talk  _ to him first. We don’t want to pressure you to confess if you’re not ready for that, but you should at least try to make up with him. We can’t have another unproductive practice or I’m going to lose my mind! That and we really do care about you, Yamaguchi. We want you to be as happy as you can be. But that starts with fixing things between you and Tsukishima.” Tadashi took in a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, yeah. Suga, could you take me to Tsukki’s house instead today?”

A/N: thanks again for reading! if you have an extra second, i'd love it if you commented what country you're from, it would just be super cool to see:) i think the next chapter will be my last for this story, but i might write a part two if anyone is interested! have a wonderful start to your week!! xo, ash


	7. Chapter 7

Yamaguchi took in a deep breath as he stared at the daunting door in front of him. He turned back to look at Suga still in the car, who gave him a thumbs up. He shakily lifted his hand and pressed three quick raps against the wood. He could practically hear his heart beating, only barely covered up by the sound of Suga’s motor as he drove away. He waited almost a full minute before he heard the click of a lock on the other side of the door. Tsukki pulled it open in a quick swoop but immediately froze at the sight of the freckled boy in front of him. Yamaguchi gulped as he looked back at his friend’s tense figure. Kei looked absolutely wrecked. Like he hadn’t slept in days wrecked. “Uh… hi, Tsukki,” he whispered. His soft breath seeped out in clouds amidst the freezing air. “Hi Yamaguchi,” Tsukki responded, his nervousness apparent in the slight shake of his deep voice. A few moments of silence passed, neither boy knowing quite what to say. Yamaguchi fiddled with his fingers, which were almost fully covered by the sleeves of his oversized coat before he finally spoke. “I- I just wanted to bring back your sweatshirt… you know, from the other day.” Tsukki slowly nodded, then looked at Yamaguchi expectantly. “Oh! Right,” the shorter one continued sheepishly, reaching around to unzip his backpack and pull out the hoodie. He stretched out his hands in front of him in offering and Tsukki took it hesitantly. “Thanks,” he responded. He awkwardly pushed his glasses up on his nose, unsure of how to begin an apology, but before he came up with anything good, Yamaguchi’s faint voice cut through the quiet. “Tsukki?” he asked. Tsukki hummed. “Um… I was wondering if maybe you were free to watch Jurassic Park? I know I promised you I would.” Tsukki was taken aback, but managed to almost conceal his surprise. “Oh. Uh, yeah. Sure.” He opened the door a little wider to let in his shivering friend. They walked up the stairs and into Tsukki’s room in silence, and when Kei clicked through channels on the TV, neither of them made an effort to change that. They started the first movie once they were both comfortable on their respective sides of the couch, and though it wasn’t what either boy wanted, they sat against the corners rather than in the middle, pressed slightly up against each other like usual. The movie flashed on the screen in front of them, but neither of them could really pay attention to what was going on. They kept stealing glances at each other back and forth, luckily never making eye contact. It wasn’t until about halfway through the movie that Tsukishima turned to face Yamaguchi and uttered out a rushed “Yamaguchi, I’m sorry.” Yams looked back at his friend wide-eyed. “You’re… sorry?” Tsukki nodded, a blush rising to his cheeks. “Why are  _ you _ sorry?  _ I’m  _ the one who should be sorry!” Tsukki furrowed his brows. “For what?  _ I’m  _ the one who made everything weird between us.” Yamaguchi gaped at this, quickly retorting “but  _ I _ ignored you all week! Tsukki, I was mad at you.” Tsukki gulped; he had been right. “I was just  _ so  _ mad and I didn’t know what to do about it, so I took it out on you, and you didn’t deserve that. I mean, I usually come to you when I need to talk, but obviously that was out of the question this time and-” “Yamaguchi,” Tsukki interrupted hurriedly. “It’s all my fault. I didn’t mean to cross the line at the sleepover. I promise I won’t do it again. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, it just kinda… happened.” Now Yamaguchi was sporting an utterly dumbfounded look. “What? I wasn’t mad about the sleepover.” Then it was Tsukishima’s turn to be confused. “Then what were you mad about?” Yamaguchi bit his lip as his glance met Tsukki’s. “Right. Um… well…” he tried. He took in a shuddering breath as he thought about how to respond. His eyes began to shine with tears and Tsukki felt his heart starting to melt a little. Now, he inched towards his friend, wiping a single glossy tear from his face. With his other hand, he reached out for Yamaguchi’s, a little hesitant at first, but then with full commitment as Yamaguchi sniffled a little and looked down into his lap. “I… I was mad about your date, okay?” he choked out. Tsukki sat in stunned silence, hoping he would elaborate. He did. “It’s just, I never worried much about all the confessions you got before because I was pretty sure you’d just reject them. But this time you didn’t. And Aika’s really pretty, and she seems so sweet, and- and Tsukki... I was jealous. And I got so… so  _ angry  _ because I wanted to be in her place, but I wasn’t-” Now Tsukishima's mind was absolutely reeling, trying to make sense of what his friend was saying, but he just sat and listened in total shock. “-and then you said it went well, and I was worried I had missed any kind of chance I might’ve had with y-” “ _ Fuck _ , Tadashi,” Tsukki breathed, sending a chill down the freckled boy’s spine and stopping his ramblings dead in their tracks. He gulped, his cheeks glowing red as he realized what he had just admitted to. He slid his hand out of Kei’s and quickly stood up, grabbing his backpack. “Oh my gosh. I’m so sorry, Tsukki. I’m- I’m gonna go.” And with that he turned to leave, almost making it to the bedroom door before Tsukishima could get a sound to come out of his mouth. “Yamaguchi, wait.” Yams turned around, accidentally doing that thing where he made himself look unbelievably small. “I’m not going on another date with Aika.” Tadashi fidgeted with his hands again. “Y-you’re not?” Tsukki shook his head and gestured for Yamaguchi to sit back down, which he did. “I thought you said she was really nice.” “Yeah, she was. She made me feel comfortable and helped me realize something that I hadn’t quite figured out myself yet. She helped me realize that I already liked someone else.” Tadashi’s mouth went dry, but against his better judgement, he softly asked, “Oh?... Can- can I ask who?” Tsukki could feel his heart racing in his chest, but he lifted one shaky hand to stabilize Yamaguchi’s chin between his thumb and pointer finger. He looked in the freckled boy’s eyes with a sense of longing before closing his own and pressing their lips together. Yamaguchi put his hand over his heart for fear it would jump out if he wasn’t careful. It was over as quickly as it began, but both boys could feel their faces heating up as they lingered only inches apart. “In case it wasn’t clear,” Tsukki whispered, his hot breath sending a shiver down Yamaguchi’s neck, “I like  _ you _ , Tadashi.” Yamaguchi’s breath hitched as he murmured. “Hey Tsukki?” Tsukki tilted his head to the side in questioning. “Hmm?” Yamaguchi looked at him breathlessly, as if all of the air from his lungs had just been sucked out, but nonetheless, he purred, “Kiss me again.” Tsukishima let out a soft chuckle as he slipped his hand to the back of Yamaguchi’s neck. “Okay, Tadashi.” And he connected their lips again, for longer this time, as a fresh fall of snow began outside the window and  _ Jurassic Park  _ continued on behind them.

A/N: hiii:) thanks for sticking around to finish the whole story- i appreciate you lots! i hope you liked it & are having a wonderful day! (also can we talk about how it would be tsukki's DREAM to have his first kiss while a dinosaur movie was playing in the background lol)

**Author's Note:**

> hi:)) thank you so much for reading! i know it was a little short since it was the first chapter, but i hope you liked it anyways & that you're having a wonderful day!


End file.
